


may's multi-fandom fic meme of doom

by demiromcom (mayerwien)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Rocketman (2019) RPF, Shenanigans (Original Universe), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood and Violence, Canonical Character Death, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Humor, I'm so sorry, Light Angst, LiveJournal Prompt, Meme, Multi, Prompt Fic, a serendipitous reason for lion onesies, the numbers were trying to kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 05:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19739452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayerwien/pseuds/demiromcom
Summary: “I’m not trying to deter you,” Taron says, and then he looks at her and laughs a little helplessly and shakes his head, “really, I’m not, it’s just—in the end, most people realize that dating a celebrity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. So if you want to bail out now, I understand.”Shrugging, Ginny rolls her wine glass around in her hand. “I’ve dated celebrities before,” she says coolly. She lifts her gaze to meet his, and it almost looks like a challenge. “I’m not going anywhere.”--(you can see the tags right there so i'm just saying. you were warned)





	may's multi-fandom fic meme of doom

**Author's Note:**

> The original fic meme instructions ran thus:  
> 1\. Write down the names of 10 characters.  
> 2\. Write a fic of fifteen words or fewer for every prompt.  
> 3\. Do NOT read the prompts before you do step 1.
> 
> Except I was in need of some prose practice, so I ignored the fifteen words part. I also added extra prompts because I felt the list needed more fluff.
> 
> The characters I listed are below! (If you want to play too with your own list, I suggest you list your characters before you read and see what the prompts are; I did before reading tartanfics' take, which is where I got the meme, and I kind of don't regret it except I also regret it)
> 
> 1\. Elliot (Shenanigans)  
> 2\. Nicholas (Shenanigans)  
> 3\. Harry Potter  
> 4\. Ginny Weasley  
> 5\. Keith (VLD)  
> 6\. Lance (VLD)  
> 7\. Taron Egerton  
> 8\. Richard Madden  
> 9\. Jason Todd  
> 10\. Tim Drake

**First time, 4 and 6**

“Wait, the _Harpies?”_ Lance says incredulously, staring up at the poster on her bedroom ceiling. “Seriousl— _ow!”_ he yelps, as Ginny, having punched him hard on the arm, smirks and clambers over him to get up and make coffee.

**Angst, 7**

It’s three AM, and the self-doubt and fear and loneliness are raking deep furrows through his mind, and Taron stands on his balcony and grips his phone in his hand—looks at Richard’s name in his contacts, glowing safe like a lighthouse beam, and he doesn’t let himself call, he doesn’t call, doesn’t call.

**AU, 1 and 8**

Richard didn’t know what to expect when they told him they’d cast an unknown to play opposite him—but it certainly wasn’t the young man who’s currently draped attractively over the green room sofa. Like he’s on the Titanic, waiting for someone to draw him.

“Madden,” the kid says when he sees him approaching; he’s clearly trying to play it cool, and Richard doesn’t know whether he finds that annoying or amusing. At the very least, the kid gets up from the sofa. “Loved you in Romeo and Juliet.”

“Interesting. Most people say they loved me in, well, the obvious.” Richard extends his hand.

“Yeah, well, I’m not most people.” And he smiles, and _fuck,_ it’s dazzling, it does something to Richard’s pulse that he never saw coming. “I’m Elliot,” he says, and takes Richard’s hand. “Looking forward to working with you.”

**Threesome, 3, 6, and 9**

“Coffee,” Harry says, jamming his glasses onto his face and stumbling blearily into the hallway. “I think we could all do with some coffee.”

Jason pokes Lance in the ribs. “Come on, flojo. I’ll make you pancakes too.”

“I don’t wanna,” Lance mumbles sleepily. Rolling his eyes, Jason picks Lance up and, tossing him over his shoulder easily, carries him out into the kitchen.

**Hurt/comfort, 5 and 10**

“I don’t know if this will help, but—“ Tim lays a gentle hand on the middle of Keith’s back, at the top of his spine. “I know what it’s like. To look at someone you called your brother and not recognize the person standing in front of you anymore.”

Keith seems like he wants to lean into Tim’s touch for a second. But then he jerks away abruptly and curls into himself, making himself small. “You weren’t there,” he snarls. “You didn’t see his eyes.”

**Crackfic, 1**

“You uh, might not want to wear so much white the next time you come over,” Nicholas says apologetically.

Jane is already plucking the cat hairs off her blouse. “I don’t think I’m the one who needs to worry. He’s really taken a shine to you, huh, Jonah?”

Jonah is looking down at his own lap in fond bewilderment, as the tiny new rescue purrs and rolls over and rubs his head against the front of his sweater over and over. “I was surprised too. I didn’t realize I was a cat person.”

"Cat whisperer.” Nicholas grins and reaches over to scoop the kitten out of Jonah’s lap. “Come on, Elliot, lunchtime.”

 _“Mrowr,”_ Elliot complains, twitching his tail.

**Horror, 10**

In his nightmares Tim sees them, the Talons, hundreds of them lined up in the rafters with their glowing yellow eyes—then bearing down on him and ripping his body to shreds, until there’s nothing left of him but a mangled red heap on the floor for Bruce to find—and he wakes up gasping for air, clawing at his bedsheets, unable to sink back into sleep again until the daylight comes.

**Baby fic, 5 and 9**

“Do you think everyone’s right about us, and he’s going to grow up to be the angstiest baby alive?” Jason asks, concerned as he looks down at the bundle in his arms.

Keith sighs fondly, and leans carefully over their newborn son to give Jason a kiss. “He’ll be fine,” he says. “More than fine. We’ll be great.”

**Dark, 2 and 8**

“Oh my god, are we locked in here,” Richard says, trying not to sound like he’s panicking. (Which he isn’t.)

“Hold on,” Nicholas says. Richard hears him fumbling with something in the dark, and then suddenly a tiny point of light blossoms between them. Richard can see the planes of Nicholas’s face now, his eyes glinting behind his glasses.

“You just,” Richard says, as his shoulders relax and he feels the anxiety start to drain away. “You just carry an emergency flashlight with you, do you?”

“EDC. What did you think the fanny pack was for?” Nicholas holds out a pack of crackers. “So you don’t starve,” he says, and even though they’re mostly surrounded by shadows, Richard can see the flash of his smile.

**Romance, 4 and 7**

“I’m not trying to deter you,” Taron says, and then he looks at her and laughs a little helplessly and shakes his head, _“really,_ I’m not, it’s just—in the end, most people realize that dating a celebrity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. So if you want to bail out now, I understand.”

Shrugging, Ginny rolls her wine glass around in her hand. “I’ve dated celebrities before,” she says coolly. She lifts her gaze to meet his, and it almost looks like a challenge. “I’m not going anywhere.”

**Death fic, 2 and 3**

“I didn’t think St. Mungo’s had Healers like you,” Harry says stiffly. “For—grief counseling. Or whatever Professor Dumbledore called it.”

“They...don’t,” the man admits, regarding Harry from behind his glasses. He’s much younger than Harry thought he’d be; his manner reminds him a bit of Bill Weasley. “I got my degree from Barts. Professor Dumbledore calls me in sometimes to help students who need it.”

“No offense,” Harry says, feeling heat rise in his chest and his throat lock up, the way it’s done again and again over the past couple of days. “But I’m not really in the mood to sit here and talk about how sad I am that Bellatrix Lestrange murdered my godfather, Doctor—“

“Call me Nicholas,” the doctor says. He gets up and moves around the desk to sit next to Harry instead, then reaches into a pocket and pulls out a bar of chocolate. Harry stares as the doctor—Nicholas—unwraps it and offers Harry a square.

“There’s no magic that can heal this,” Nicholas says simply. “And I’m not going to sit here and pretend that it’s going to be easy. But you’re allowed to feel whatever you need to feel, or talk, or not talk. Whatever you want. The only thing I need you to promise me, Harry, is that you won’t do it alone.”

Harry looks at Nicholas for a long time. Then, slowly, he nods, and wordlessly accepts the chocolate.

**Bodyswap fic, 2, 4, and 8**

“This is going to be fine,” Nicholas says calmly. He looks down at his hands, much smaller now, then holds a lock of his newly red-gold hair up in front of his eyes. “Madam Pomfrey can sort us out, right?”

“You’d better bloody hope she can,” Richard mutters, holding his hand out for Nicholas’s glasses. “God, your eyesight is terrible. Have you been doing your studying in the dark all these years?”

Ginny, meanwhile, is delightedly admiring her new face in the mirror, turning it from side to side. “I wonder how many people I can pull if I go out looking like _this,”_ she says excitedly. “Hey, Richard, after we get switched back, d’you mind if I ask for a couple strands of your hair? To be used in Polyjuice, only on, er, special occasions. I swear.”

**Stuck on an island, 1 and 6**

“Okay,” Lance says, hands on his hips. “What do we need?”

Elliot looks across the deserted beach, then at Lance. “Coconut juice and two hammocks?”

“Coconut juice and two hammocks!” Lance agrees, giving Elliot a high-five.

**Kink fic, 3 and 5**

“I didn’t think you would actually—“ Harry falters, because the truth is, Keith looks adorable in it.

Keith flips back the hood of his red-and-gold lion onesie, and he’s smirking. “I feel like you should know by now—“ Then he’s suddenly standing close, too close. Harry inhales sharply. “When I want to do something, I do it.”

“Oh,” Harry says.

Keith grins even wider, something almost feral in it. “There’s one in the closet for you, too,” he murmurs.

“Do you...want me to wear it?” Harry’s mouth is dry.

Keith tilts his head. “Not as much as I want to take it off you.”

**BONUSES:**

**Neighbors, 5, 9, and 10**

“Hey, what do you think’s up with the guy in 4B?” Tim whispers.

Jason, who’s hanging up the bird feeder on their apartment balcony, stops and glances over his shoulder. Their new neighbor one over is on his balcony too, sitting cross-legged on the floor and looking out over the hazy city, up to where stars are beginning to appear in the twilight sky. Jason’s passed the guy in the hallway a couple of times; everything about him—the hard look on his face, his defiant posture, yet the way he visibly tenses up whenever anyone gets near—is so familiar to Jason it’s almost like a physical pain. It reminds Jason so much of how he used to be; before Bruce, before Dick and Damian. Before Tim, with his messy hair and bright eyes and his habit of falling asleep in front of his laptop on the sofa at four in the morning.

“Hey,” Jason calls across the gap.

4B looks up, startled. “We have pizza on the way,” Jason continues. “Like three pizzas. Do you wanna come over and help us finish them?”

“I,” 4B says. His voice is a soft rasp. “I guess. If you really want me to.”

“I’m Tim,” Tim says, poking his head all the way out the balcony door. “And this is Jay. And we’d love to have you.”

“Keith,” their neighbor says. He clears his throat. “And I, uh. Thanks.”

**Only one bed, 6 and 7**

“Your elbow is digging into my spine,” Taron hisses.

“Stop whining, this is nothing! I used to have to sleep out in the desert without a tent or a sleeping bag all the time! You wouldn’t have lasted twenty minutes at the Garrison,” Lance grumbles back, rolling over.

“Well, you’re not at the Garrison now, are you? You’re just hogging the blanket.” Taron attempts to tug a corner of it towards him, then adds in a snippy, pointed tone, “Good night, _Lahnce.”_

“Oh, shut up, Moomintroll,” Lance says, yanking the blanket back to his side, and closes his eyes and goes to sleep.

**Coffeeshop, 1 and 10**

So Sexy Iced Latte Guy’s name is Elliot. With one T, not two—which Tim knows because after he gave Elliot his cup, Elliot came back to the counter just to inform him of the misspelling on it.

“So you run this place,” Elliot remarks. He’s wearing an incredibly well-tailored suit that fits him perfectly; Tim’s grown up attending black-tie events every single weekend, so he can definitely appreciate the cut of another man’s suit.

"Family business.” Tim tries to lean against the counter in a casual way, fails, and picks up a bottle of raspberry syrup instead so he’ll have something to do with his hands. “One of, uh, many.”

“And yet! I noticed you don’t have social media.” Elliot raises his eyebrows. “Need any help with that? I’m a social media manager, among other things. And I’m very.” The beginning of a smile appears at the corner of his mouth. _“Very_ good at everything I do.”

“That would be,” Tim says in a slightly strangled voice. Thank god Dick isn’t here to witness him being heavily flirted at by a customer—and worse, _enjoying_ it. “Great.”

“You can give me your number.” Elliot’s eyes flicker down to his nametag. “Tim.” Tim does, typing it into Elliot’s phone with hands that definitely aren’t shaking. Nope.

Taking his phone back, Elliot clicks his tongue impatiently. “I already know a Tim,” he mutters, tapping at his phone screen. “I need to put you in as something else.”

“My, uh, my last name is Drake,” Tim starts to suggest, but Elliot waves dismissively.

“Nah, I got it.” Elliot slides his phone back into his pocket and turns to leave, and then he looks back over his shoulder and smiles broadly. “Call you soon, Hot Tim,” he says, and winks, and Tim promptly drops the bottle of syrup.

**IKEA, 2 and 9**

“I just don’t think,” Jason says, his hands curling around the pushcart handle. “That I need all this stuff.”

“You need _pillows,”_ Nicholas points out. “And the lighting in those dorms is terrible, you’ll need a desk lamp for when you’re studying at night. And hangers for your closet, and a new duvet—” Then he notices Jason’s stopped pushing the cart and is just standing there in the middle of the aisle. “Listen,” he says gently, clapping the younger boy on the shoulder. “You’re going to have a great time at college.”

“You know I’m only doing it to make Bruce happy,” Jason mumbles. “I don’t—I never thought college was for me.”

“Give it a year,” Nicholas says. “Then if you feel the same way at the end of it, I’ll help you talk to Bruce. Deal?”

Jason takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. “Okay. Deal,” he says, and then hesitates. “What’s that thing? That you put the shampoo bottles in?”

Nicholas smiles. “Bathroom caddy,” he says. “Yeah, we can get you one of those, too.”

**Texting, 3 and 7**

_Sorry its taking me so long to reply,_ Harry texts. _i dont really use a mobile often, im’ still getting the hang of it_

 _You don’t use a mobile?_ Taron replies. _What do you use, mate, a quill and parchment?_

Harry blinks. _well. Actually,_

**Rivals, 4 and 8**

Ginny glares across the tunnel. The Magpies’ new Keeper, she has to admit, is damn good. In their first match against Scotland he’d smoothly defended against three of her shots without playing dirty at all. _Three._

“Weasley,” her captain snaps. “Stop glowering at Madden. It’s unsportsmanlike.”

Ginny catches herself and is about to turn away, just as Madden notices and turns towards her. The expression on his face is polite, but with a hint of playfulness.

“I look forward to meeting you out there, Miss Weasley,” he says in his soft brogue, clearly enough for her to hear.

“Oh, you’ll regret your enthusiasm soon enough,” Ginny retorts, just as Ludo Bagman’s voice booms out across the stadium. Mounting her broom, she takes to the air and follows her teammates out over the pitch without looking back, and definitely without thinking about the twinkle in the man’s eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> it is uncanny how well some of these crack pairings worked for me. idk man


End file.
